I don’t know where you live, but where I live, it’s ridiculously cold outside. And if it’s not cold where you live, I want to move there. In the meantime, though, here are the best ways to deal with the frigid weather:

1. Lots of layers! Of whip cream on your hot chocolate while you’re inside watching TV, I mean.
2. Pajamas and slippers. The best combination since cookies and milk.
3. Wear a coat to school. I know it’s the opposite of cool, but these are desperate times.
4. Tell your dad you want to “read by the fire.” By the time the fire’s going, he’ll have forgotten all about the ‘read’ part.
5. Whatever you do, never ice skate. It’s not a sport, it’s a broken ankle waiting to happen.